Whew! What a week! No matter what side of the political spectrum you’re on, it’s hard to escape the swirl of emotions and opinions when leadership shifts in our country. As a therapist and coach, I’ve spent over 30 years listening objectively during times like these. I’m reminded of the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic, when I was juggling telehealth for the first time, caring for my people and clients, and navigating my own tough season during a not-so-nice divorce.
It wasn’t easy. One session, I’d be listening to a client express anger over COVID-19 being a “hoax,” and in the next, holding space for someone grieving the loss of a loved one to the virus. I’m no stranger to holding space for people with differing views and deep emotions.
This past week was no different. Some people I spoke to were celebrating new leadership with relief and joy, while others were experiencing disbelief, anxiety, and concern for themselves and the people they love. And it’s not just clients—it’s my family, too. I have three amazing young adult kids, and my partner has kids I get to do life with as well. Then there are the young adults I’ve mentored over the years—all navigating their 20s in a world that feels heavy at times.
How do I hold space for all of them? I’m far from perfect at it, but I’ve learned a few things along the way. One of my favorite tips—and it works in any relationship—is to ask this simple question:
Would you like to be held, heard, or helped?
This has been a game-changer in my relationships. When someone shares their concerns or struggles, it’s easy to rush in and try to fix things. But often, all they really want is to vent or feel supported. By asking this question, you can give them exactly what they need in that moment—a hug, a listening ear, or some advice. It’s a small shift, but it makes a big difference.
I was reminded of this earlier today in a conversation with my mom. She called to check in on one of my kids and was surprised when I mentioned that they’d been struggling with everything going on in the world. In the past, I might have snapped or hurried to end the call. But today, my mom listened. She didn’t try to fix anything or say my child was overreacting. She just heard me. And that meant so much.
If you’re parenting young adult kids and feeling the weight of their worries, you’re not alone. I’ve written out some more tips to help you support them during these uncertain times. You can read the full list over on my blog here.
I’ve just purchased a book that I think you might find helpful: "You and Your Adult Child: How to Grow Together in Challenging Times" by Dr. Laurence Steinberg. I haven’t read it yet, but I downloaded it on Audible for an upcoming trip I’m taking to Guatemala with Caroline’s Promise, a nonprofit I founded 22 years ago. While there, I’ll be assisting with a business training for 35 entrepreneurs and plan to listen to the book during my downtime (if I have any!) If you’ve read it, I’d love to hear your thoughts—hit reply and let me know what you think!
Sometimes, parenting young adults feels like an emotional balancing act. We’ve spent our lives giving to our kids, and continuing that support into their adult years—while maintaining our own balance—is a privilege. Let’s keep talking about how to navigate this season together.
I’d love to hear what works for you. Have you tried the "held, heard, or helped" approach? Or do you have other tips for supporting your young adult kids? Hit reply and let me know. And don’t forget to check out the blog for more ideas—it’s a conversation worth having.
Well, that's it for this week! I hope you're finding this newsletter helpful. Don't forget the Midlife With Purpose private Facebook group. It's free and if you're looking for community or more support, it's a great place to start!
Cheering you on!
Lisa
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