My Holiday Gift to You: How to Rise Above the Chaos

The holidays are a lot—especially for midlife women. Between the hot flashes, family drama, and the endless to-do list, it’s easy to feel like you’re running a marathon with no finish line.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. Here are 5 tips I use to rise above the chaos.

1. Set Boundaries Before the Chaos Starts
   Communicate your limits ahead of time. Whether it’s how long you’ll stay at Grandma’s or what topics are off-limits (like your love life or politics), make it clear. Remember that we teach people how to treat us. If you've never expressed your needs, chances are, your people don't know about them. 

2. Create a Cool-Down Plan (Literally)
   If the house is too hot and your hot flashes are flaring up, step outside for some fresh air. Bring a fan or even a cold compress if you need it—no one will judge! And definitely don't wear that thick sweater - unless you have a tank top on that you don't mind being seen in. Layering is the goal.

3. Make Time for Yourself
   The ultimate way to do this is to do some self care before the family arrives. When you're all together remember you can always escape to a quiet room for 10 minutes to breathe, stretch, or scroll your favorite memes. A quick reset can work wonders. I can't tell you how many times I've retreated to the bathroom and text my bestie. 

4. Focus on What Really Matters
   Let go of perfection. It’s not about the perfect table setting or timeline—it’s about being present with the people you love (even if they’re driving you a little nuts). I often remind myself that I get to be with these people. At this stage in life it's quite possible that some of them won't be here next year. It helps me to keep this in mind. 

5. Determine not to let offense control you. 
   People say dumb things. Let them. Ask yourself if it really matters. If it's a recurring situation, tell yourself that you can deal with it after the holidays. I try to "put it in a box" and tell myself I can think about it tomorrow. Sometimes it's worth confronting after the holidays and sometimes it's not, but it is almost always not a great idea not confront in the moment. 

The Holidays can stir up a lot of stuff. I used to say,

"I'll be home for Christmas.....and in Therapy by New Years". 

I’ve spent 30 years helping people manage family chaos, and now I coach midlife women like you to set boundaries, prioritize yourself, and actually enjoy these seasons—no matter what your family throws at you.

My coaching gift to you is this: If you need a plan to make next year better, let’s chat. My Coaching rate is going up in January. If you're serious about making changes in the New Year so that you don't dread time with your family, contact me. Book a coaching session now to jumpstart your 2025—and I’ll honor my 2024 rate for the month of January if you schedule your session by December 31.

Wishing you peace, laughter, and maybe a cold compress this holiday season,

Lisa